Utopia in the Supermarket

Every Top Is A Bottom! Bless consumer choice.

(spotted by the keen eye of Titus Rochelle)

Slums, Percussion Instruments, Caves

(trying to get Troll's hideous image farther down on the page!)

He was also frightened of invertebrates, marine life in general, temperatures below freezing, fat people, people of other races, race-mixing, slums, percussion instruments, caves, cellars, old age, great expanses of time, monumental architecture, non-Euclidean geometry, deserts, oceans, rats, dogs, the New England countryside, New York City, fungi and molds, viscous substances, medical experiments, dreams, brittle textures, gelatinous textures, the color gray, plant life of diverse sorts, memory lapses, old books, heredity, mists, gases, whistling, whispering—the things that did not frighten him would probably make a shorter list.

-Luc Sante on H.P. Lovecraft (a rhapsodically fearful classic for Stormy)

The Irresistible Ass Tulip

My pig research has borne fruit:

"It is not uncommon to find blood in a pen and around the mouths of pigs but with no obvious prolapse in any other animals, i.e. the prolapse will have been completely chewed off."

And then there is this...

CASE REPORTS

Pig Bite of Prolapsed Rectum in a Child

By A.N. Gangopadhyay, D.K. Gupta, Amit Dhulkotia, Ashwin V. Apte, and S.P. Sharma

Varanasi, India

STRAY PIGS are a menace in rural areas of poor countries in which pig rearing is a common occupation. However, pig bites to humans are rare, and a bite to the perineum has not been reported. A very unusual incident in which a pig bit a prolapsed rectum while the child was defecating is being reported.

Vengeance of the Lump-Being

With excellent chapter titles too

Shrimp to Failure

What is imagined to be going on just beneath the surface here...

Meet me at Club L'Ocean

Nobody at Westerberg's gonna let you play their cornhole games

Give it up for Titus Rochelle, people!

(btw, Taxi'ers, looking through the list of potential labels I can apply to this post makes me want to die. good work, guys!)

New profile pic

for someone or other

Haw Par Villa

I'm convinced trollmilk has been here.

Tampon Scribe

My first use of Google Scribe which "autocompletes suggestions as you type" (like their magic search box):

"Taxidermy in the Garden of Eden was not going to change anything."

Oh, the days of my life I will spend with this tool...

Don't talk to sociologists

Perhaps it is only in lovemaking that there is interaction between unmediated human bodies -- though even here the extra-somatic usually plays a role too.

Here I imagine that reference is being made to this--and I shudder. 

Juice to Seduce

Juice display at the Russian Store

Mythos Dildo

Lovecraft dildo "with clit stimulating tentacle tail"

Now all we need are Lovecraft Tampons

In regards to cabbages

Does anyone remember Cabbage Patch Kids (being this horrifying)?

Robust Willie versus Feeble Winky

Am I supposed to lather or transfuse?

How do the pee-shy germophobes among us feel about washing
up with a bag of plasma? The color in the photo doesn't quite do it justice...

I think the Taxi should maybe start a bathroom series.

Poo-Say

You can't quite read it under the band name (Poussez), but the album cover helpfully and subtly includes the pronunciation "Poo-Say."

Do it do it do it do it (to me)

Cruelty

'Cruelty,' 1885, from Harper's Magazine

Anyone care to take a crack at explaining this?

Brian Eno in Planet of the Apes

What, no police sketch?

Also, isn't Rick James dead?

Vaginas ranked by beard weight

That's Willie Nelson, right?
via

Blobfish versus Snoot snout

via, and via

Too literal?

via Alex Eduoard

Annie's Downstairs Secret

"Impressed by how well they worked on her pets' and her own teeth, Annie used Crest Whitestrips to brighten her toenails."

Guest post courtesy Lee and Museum of Bad Art.

Troll Times

"Troll Times, a magazine for kids and their weird interests of the 1980's." [via]

for TrollMilk

The dog what rode the pie-train too many times

A cautionary tale for LG.  Tail?

Los Homosexuales

via Public Collectors

Answer: Flotzmaul

Question: What's German for snoot snout?

R.I.P. Fug (Daily Perverb!)

Philadelphia anti-drug murals

Breakfast in America

Thanks to Garth Williams for this enduring image from my childhood

Darren Hairen

Flame Over Philadelphia II (with silver body paint)

Heroism that just won't quit!

Also, seriously, I want Darren to expound on TTC's influence on
him. Also, seriously, why has no one posted Darren yet?

Horatio Alger Hot Dog

No longer content to be a passive prop gag in Delphina's
comedy routine, this hotdog is taking charge of his own
destiny! While a staunch American patriot, he sees a
bright future for himself in Belgium, where I encountered him.

But I think his soul remains in Philadelphia...

Horse Hunks

On prominent display at Cornell's College of Veterinary Medicine... it now seems so obvious that vet schools would be rife with furrys.

The Lollipop Man

Housewarmin present for Delphina

John Waters quote

"If your whole family molested you in a giant basket on Easter morning, you have a right to be grumpy every once in a while."

The process is a secret, but involves the same material dentists use to cast teeth

The internal pussy casting service.

Atticus, we hardly knew ye

There's a lot going on in the iconography here...

With thanks to Kody

Synthetic bat colony

Irreversible trauma, all right... for the bats.
For A, P & Troll

Universal graphical lexicon for dogs and humans?

1. The implication is that everywhere else, this is
not forbidden?

2. Sorry, Stormy, it's hard to keep up with the ass!

Maritime Fingering

Click photo for the name of the boat. Know any good sailor jokes?

From 20 to 22 puffs in a cluster

I wholeheartedly endorse the Taxi's recent descent into ass.

I'm sorry II

I *am* really sorry, but I also figure if I have to see this, so do my fellow Taxidermists.

Yes, this is a miniature Dutch flag planted atop a pile of poop. (The Amsterdammer who did this probably thought it was his/her Iwo Jima moment?)

It isn't your fault.

"Wild-pig syndrome... is characterized by involuntary antisocial behavior, followed by situational amnesia and the resumption of normal life."

Support Your Local Poo Pig

In our increasingly sanitized world, the poo pig is a breed in decline. I had heard tell of the Korean poo pigs, their numbers dwindling due to prohibitions on the sale of their meat, rumored to be exceptionally succulent, because of concerns about their potential role in the spread of disease. Apparently, the Goans also have what they call "pig toilets". These, too, are likely to disappear in the near future, despite all the hippies and their primitive-worship trance music. Just another majestic creature sacrificed on the altar of so-called progress. The poo pig will be our grandchildren's unicorn.

I thank Onderdonk, whose postcard reminded me that I wanted to address this important topic.

Dedicated to Stormy "Backsplash" Feathers

Cramming

Egg liquor

You read that right. I repeat, this is not a vegan blog.

However, it occurs to me way too late, that maybe we should have a separate blog dedicated solely to gross abuses visited upon us by Europe. Ah well.

Again from Brussels with J. Fortunately we found the Fernet Branca so we didn't have to buy this stuff!

I'm on the road again

After the initial disappointment of it not being a Willie Nelson cover, there is a lot to enjoy here.

This band was the original "Italian Devo" from my imaginary "Italian Devo vs. Portuguese Sparks" comp. -- it turns out they are French but became really big in Italy.