Acid Sweat

Serious competition: The Acid Sweat Lodge

(And perhaps my new avatar, what do you think?)

Deer Filler

I still haven't found the furry video I intended to share and then lost. I think it was a bunny woman in an office. I'll know it when I see it...

For the record, I find this incredibly painful to watch.

But perhaps my standards are temporarily higher because Troll was on TV yesterday.

Gonna have a curl

This is almost as addictive as the "Joy Ridin" song.

The secret life of pickle

This frozen runaway pickle's bid for emancipation doesn't seem like it's going so well, but it could be worse, as evidenced by what happened to its friend.  Stay out of the street! 

Spotted with CWA. 

Avoid Pickups!

Via Medical Museum:

Poster. Venereal disease. "Young, pretty, easy, but full of germs. Avoid pickups! Designed by: CRD. R.T.C.[?], Produced by: Chart Reproduction Plant. CRD. School, A.P.O.[?], MD." [Illustration. Venereal diseases. Propaganda. Posters. Prostitutes? Medicine, Preventive.]

Captain Hack; [World War 2?]

Is "Captain Hack" like a parallel universe Uncle Sam?

Viscous Magma, Eggs

Google translating from the Portuguese:

I really like Camille Paglia, but I think that if I was a virgin and my only idea of what a vagina was formed by the reading of Sexual Personae, I would think that a vagina is a hole from whence xaxim viscous magma, eggs, Barber, slugs covered in mucus and a tapeworm that was dancing toothy bite my nose, to the winches. And it is true that some are like that - more like Tycho Brahe lost his nose? - But there are others who, unlike the world-view of Paglia (or your pussy-view), nice and civilized, closer to a French garden than a jungle.

And it makes me think that this is the issue of gays: they read Camille Paglia, and finding that the vagina is a fuzzy slit dropping Baños chthonic primordial soup, keep away from it. Who would not keep? Now, write an entire book comparing the vagina to topiaries French honeysuckle in the garden of the Duchess of Mouchy, or even an art deco carpet firm of Jules Leleu, and they do not detach it most.

Original

A message from Stormy's inbox

"COCKZILLA is the word"

Set in a forest!

from allmusic's review of the 1978 Rush album "Hemispheres":

Neil Peart had become one of rock's most accomplished lyricists by this point, as evidenced by 'The Trees,' which deals with racism and inequality in a unique way (set in a forest!).

Please note the possibilities for a new non-sequitur.

Real Hose

Stormy, I dare you to invite me to your office holiday party

TM, I think I can just spy your future if I squint...

The modest ox

Mining the Kinski vein, broad and deep

Donkey Pride

There is nothing more noble than a hardworking donkey. I'm thinking we may need to start a series on the headwear fashion of beasts of burden... Onderdonk..?

Woyzeck

Too many heroes are missing from our archives!

Kinski quotes anyone?

Total Warr

A fine, fine album cover.
via

Fight for your right...

Get a ladies night

This post is meant to counter-balance the cuteness of the sloths and thereby restore balance and harmony to the universe.

Keeping the houses sweet and the animals healthy

Runaway Tampon

If it weren't out of focus, new mascot?  Last night, 32nd St. and 6th Ave.

To put your Halloween planning to UTTER SHAME

On harvesting one's own fluff

"Belly button lint collection wins place in record books"

The Australian librarian started “harvesting” his fluff in 1984, at a youth hostel in Brisbane. After 26 years, the complete collection now weighs 22.1 grams, or .77 ounces… Barker sold three of his jars to a museum for an undisclosed sum and is a quarter of the way to filling a fourth.

The Today Show outclasses Tampon Taxidermy!

Can't Stop Till You Sloth It Up

Can't Stop Till You Snoot It Up

This post exists only so I could re-use the label "An Average Walrus"

Spanish Devo

"Aviador Dro [short for El Aviador Dro y sus Obreros Especializados] formed in Madrid in 1979 & might best be described as Spain's answer to Devo. They were an essential part of the Movida Madrileña movment, Madrid's version of new wave, & were involved with theater, politics & even a sinister satanic synth side project called Los Iniciados [immediately forthcoming]."

via holy warbles

Pig in a Suit

The internet has let me down. This is the best it could come up with.

Cigarettes, magazines / Perforated Chinese dreams / Chicken. Can I stay with you?

Snoot-snoutin' around

Via

Dirty Little Doggies

I know this is cloyingly adorable, but it is also both creepy and curiously arousing... Can this dance be anything but a prelude to copulation? Is it wrong to be sexually attracted to an animal if it dances like a human?

...without the slightest molestation!

But profligacy: offensive to Philadelphians?  That doesn't sound right...

We thank CCMM for his unknowing contribution. 

Utopia in the Supermarket

Every Top Is A Bottom! Bless consumer choice.

(spotted by the keen eye of Titus Rochelle)

Slums, Percussion Instruments, Caves

(trying to get Troll's hideous image farther down on the page!)

He was also frightened of invertebrates, marine life in general, temperatures below freezing, fat people, people of other races, race-mixing, slums, percussion instruments, caves, cellars, old age, great expanses of time, monumental architecture, non-Euclidean geometry, deserts, oceans, rats, dogs, the New England countryside, New York City, fungi and molds, viscous substances, medical experiments, dreams, brittle textures, gelatinous textures, the color gray, plant life of diverse sorts, memory lapses, old books, heredity, mists, gases, whistling, whispering—the things that did not frighten him would probably make a shorter list.

-Luc Sante on H.P. Lovecraft (a rhapsodically fearful classic for Stormy)

The Irresistible Ass Tulip

My pig research has borne fruit:

"It is not uncommon to find blood in a pen and around the mouths of pigs but with no obvious prolapse in any other animals, i.e. the prolapse will have been completely chewed off."

And then there is this...

CASE REPORTS

Pig Bite of Prolapsed Rectum in a Child

By A.N. Gangopadhyay, D.K. Gupta, Amit Dhulkotia, Ashwin V. Apte, and S.P. Sharma

Varanasi, India

STRAY PIGS are a menace in rural areas of poor countries in which pig rearing is a common occupation. However, pig bites to humans are rare, and a bite to the perineum has not been reported. A very unusual incident in which a pig bit a prolapsed rectum while the child was defecating is being reported.

Vengeance of the Lump-Being

With excellent chapter titles too

Shrimp to Failure

What is imagined to be going on just beneath the surface here...

Meet me at Club L'Ocean

Nobody at Westerberg's gonna let you play their cornhole games

Give it up for Titus Rochelle, people!

(btw, Taxi'ers, looking through the list of potential labels I can apply to this post makes me want to die. good work, guys!)

New profile pic

for someone or other

Haw Par Villa

I'm convinced trollmilk has been here.

Tampon Scribe

My first use of Google Scribe which "autocompletes suggestions as you type" (like their magic search box):

"Taxidermy in the Garden of Eden was not going to change anything."

Oh, the days of my life I will spend with this tool...

Don't talk to sociologists

Perhaps it is only in lovemaking that there is interaction between unmediated human bodies -- though even here the extra-somatic usually plays a role too.

Here I imagine that reference is being made to this--and I shudder. 

Juice to Seduce

Juice display at the Russian Store

Mythos Dildo

Lovecraft dildo "with clit stimulating tentacle tail"

Now all we need are Lovecraft Tampons

In regards to cabbages

Does anyone remember Cabbage Patch Kids (being this horrifying)?

Robust Willie versus Feeble Winky

Am I supposed to lather or transfuse?

How do the pee-shy germophobes among us feel about washing
up with a bag of plasma? The color in the photo doesn't quite do it justice...

I think the Taxi should maybe start a bathroom series.

Poo-Say

You can't quite read it under the band name (Poussez), but the album cover helpfully and subtly includes the pronunciation "Poo-Say."

Do it do it do it do it (to me)

Cruelty

'Cruelty,' 1885, from Harper's Magazine

Anyone care to take a crack at explaining this?

Brian Eno in Planet of the Apes

What, no police sketch?

Also, isn't Rick James dead?

Vaginas ranked by beard weight

That's Willie Nelson, right?
via

Blobfish versus Snoot snout

via, and via

Too literal?

via Alex Eduoard

Annie's Downstairs Secret

"Impressed by how well they worked on her pets' and her own teeth, Annie used Crest Whitestrips to brighten her toenails."

Guest post courtesy Lee and Museum of Bad Art.

Troll Times

"Troll Times, a magazine for kids and their weird interests of the 1980's." [via]

for TrollMilk